arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
