he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
