So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
