Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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