Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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