Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize