dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
