STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
