i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
