She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my being single is dangerous.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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