so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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