Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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