Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
