We named our party play list daddy issues
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
