Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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