She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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