you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
my shit smells like andre
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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