discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
