I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
