i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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