No, drunk sperm still make babies.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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