It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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