He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
