I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
