cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm bleeding and have questions
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
