I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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