Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
