I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
