I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
