i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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