I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
