You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
