you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We need a shit load of segways right now
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
