she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
sick fucks of a feather flock together
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
