I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
