I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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