guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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