Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
