Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
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I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
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i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
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