she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize