was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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