If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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