Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize