did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize