Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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