Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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