dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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