Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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