After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.