So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie