No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
