Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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