Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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