what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
