It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize