She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
