the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
