I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
