I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
She is in my trunk
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
We were destined to go to rehab together
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
