he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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