mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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