literally had 100 drinks last night.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
