i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
