I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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