I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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