Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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