Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Randomize
