She is in my trunk
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize