how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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