we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
